Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Like the 'Seven Deadly Sins,' here are the 'Seven Worst Gifts' a man can give a woman at Christmas.


Guys, Christmas is approaching fast! We know that many of you like to wait until ten minutes before the shops close on Christmas Eve before attempting to buy those supposedly fantastic gifts for the 'love of your life.'

Remember women are happy to receive gifts! It shows thoughtfulness, time, and effort on your part, and gives women a sense of feeling loved and appreciated. Of course tastes vary, but there are a few offerings that tend to fall short of a women's expectations.

For Christmas you must be very careful when choosing your wife/girlfriend/partner the right gift. Buying the wrong gift can easily send out the wrong message.

Men, please read this list of no-no's carefully, if you value your relationship - don't even consider buying any of the following items for your partner.
This list may well save you a trip to the A & E Department and/or divorce court.
The life you save may be your own!

1/ A Stripper Pole.

It does happen! The wife of a friend of mine took a stripper class to get into shape and her husband shoved a pole under the tree the next year. I know you’re just dying to see what goes on in those classes and you want to see your lady’s new-found talents, but installing one of these in your house will only ensure your disappointment, plus she will have all the ammo she needs to start accusing you of going to strip clubs all the time and not being happy with the 'real' woman in your life.

2/ Fake Designer Anything.

Not quite as bad as a stripper pole, but still lacking in thought.
Buying your wife/girlfriend a fake Ralph Lauren or a fake Gucci handbag is wrong in so many ways!
Do not buy anything off the back of a lorry, or from from a guy named Burt or a woman called Snow Bunny. They will tell you what you want to hear - "this plastic bag is an authentic designer handbag worth £400, yours for £19.99."
Do not believe them, don't fall for it, don't buy it!

3/ Small Appliances.

Or large ones for that matter! Never Give a woman, for Christmas any household appliance that you think will make her life easier. If a woman needs (or even just wants) a new blender, vacuum cleaner, toaster or microwave, they'll go out and buy it for themselves. Appliances just send the wrong message.
For me, it congers up images of the 1950's housewife who wishes to please her man by keeping the house clean and has dinner waiting on the table when he walks through the door.

4/ Stuffed Animals.

I know a percentage of women will disagree with me on this one, but come on ladies! We're not in junior high school anymore. There's a time in a young woman's life where a stuffed animal is an appropriate gift, and it happens to not be when you are a grown up.

5/ Exercise Equipment or Gym Membership.

I don’t care if your chunky wife keeps mentioning how bad she wants to get in shape and she needs a treadmill – she will hate you forever if you stick that baby under the tree. It’s one thing to encourage her big booty to get to the gym and work off her 'baby weight,' but it’s another to stick something under the tree that screams, "You need to slim that lard ass of yours down!"

6/ Car Related Items.

Buying her anything for her car isn’t for her........it’s for you. She doesn’t care that she has no sense of direction, that her car is messy. She doesn’t use that sunshield thingy and she certainly won’t use one of those scraper devices to remove ice, because she will lose it in the mess of her car. She will end up scraping her windows with a credit card like she’s done since the day she was first able to drive.


7/ A Cookbook.

The last thing your woman wants to open up on Christmas morning is a reminder of the huge meal she has to prepare all by herself (mainly because your lazy ass is already drunk from over indulgence the night before)
Unless your significant other is an aspiring chef or just loves to cook and create new dishes frequently, a cookbook is a gift that could be taken the wrong way. They're fun to browse through at first, but quickly loose their appeal, only to be stuck on a shelf to collect dust.


So now that you know what not to buy, I can hear you screaming from the rooftops,"so what the hell do I get her then?"

The trick is to not ask her. Asking her will only ruin the surprise and display to her that you have no idea what to get her. What you need to do is a little research and harness your skills of observation. How do I do that? I hear you ask........

The next time you're watching TV together, take note of any comments she makes during the Ads of any products or items she likes. When you are shopping together, see which shops she veers towards and tries to drag you into. Figure out what her hobbies are and see if you can buy anything to compliment them or anything she needs.

The more creative you are with your gift this Christmas, the more impressed your partner will be. It's not hard, it just takes a little time and effort.

If you've taken the time to ask her friends what she secretly wants, and got it - she will be eternally grateful.......or grateful at least until next Christmas!

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