Tuesday, April 3, 2012

20 Observations of a Poor Guy in Monaco


1) The view from the top of the hill while you're entering Monaco is BEAUTIFUL. The weather is awesome too. Sunny, cool, low humidity and lots of nice seaside breezes. Awesome.

2) What do you call people who come from Monaco? Monacans? Monocans? Monacoese? Monacish? Mohicans?

3) There is NO WAY I'd be able to afford a holiday here.

4) Does EVERYONE here wear Louis Vuitton, Prada, Hermes etc etc? Heck, even the BUS KILANG is Versace...


5) They are REALLY proud of and REALLY respect their Royal Family here.

6) That said, One of the most frequently asked questions tourists ask must be: "Is that Grace Kelly?"

7) Oooh look, the famous Monte Carlo casino! But I went inside the casino, and it er... wasn't really that happening lor.


8) I didn't see a single 7-Eleven there. Maybe there is one somewhere, but I get the feeling that the people who live in Monaco aren't the type who would NEED to go to a 7-Eleven for ANYTHING anyway...

9) On that note, I didn't see a single fast food restaurant there either. No McD, no KFC... just a lot of bakeries. Expensive ones.

10) There was a beer place though - Brasserie De Monaco. I say A beer place because it is apparently the only place in Monaco that brews its own beers. Trust ME to be the one who finds it, eh? heh heh. Anyway. it brews organic craft beers, to be exact. I tried all three of them - the lager, the wheat and the amber, and my favorite was the Amber.


11) THAT'S what you call a "shopping center"? One row of five shops on the ground floor of an apartment building? Oh wait, there's one near Monte Carlo.... OMG HOW MUCH DID YOU SAY THAT COSTS???

12) Do people have babies here? Do the babies grow up here? Because I seriously didn't see that many kids around, besides the ones belonging to tourists...

13) OH MY GOD, a TINTIN SHOP! (*cue much spending of money*) What's a TINTIN shop doing in Monaco??!!?? Do people in Monaco love Tintin THAT much?

14) The public access elevators that go from street to street and allow you to go from the very top of the hill to the port in a matter of minutes are AWESOME.

15) Oh my, those are some REALLY BIG BOATS. And is that a HELICOPTER on one of them???


16) Then again, it just LOOKS nice. Everything seems a little... well, superficial. Everyone seems a little put-on. Reminds me of Singapore, but richer and with nicer weather. Heh heh.

17) Speaking of Singapore, THIS street race would definitely kick THAT street race's ass ANYTIME. And I didn't even get to see THIS street race.

18) For once I wish I had a Ferrari to drive around. Just so I can pretend I'm in the Monaco F1 GP and take the SAME CORNERS as the ones in the race, and go through the tunnel. WHEEE!

19) I'd LOVE to know what that poor guard marching up and down non-stop for hours in front of the Royal Palace is thinking. "My arms are killing me"? "Left, right, left, right, left right hup!"? "Those Buckingham Palace Redhats have it easy. All they do is STAND there."?

20) Oh look, a seagull. And there's another one! and another one. And another, and another, and AIEEE GO AWAY AND LET ME EAT MY BREAKFAST IN PEACE!!!!

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