Thursday, September 23, 2010

Crappy Interviews: This Journalist's Version

The other day, David Lian shared a link called "The 10 Types Of Crappy Interviewees" on Twitter . Sure, it was funny, but they were all examples of interviewees at job interviews, which have nothing to do with the sort of 'interviewees' I have to face on MY job. So I couldn't really relate to it (though I DO get some of those kind of idiots at my interviews).

You see, my sort of interviewees are a lot different from people who turn up for job interviews. I have to get good quotes out of the interviewee, and pick his mind so I can understand a particular issue I'm writing about. I have to do all these things AND wonder how his answers can fit into the story I have planned. If the interviewee is crappy, it makes my job that much harder, because then I'll have to fill it up with needless facts and figures or bullshit.

But anyway,you think you job interviewers have it bad? Check out some of the situations I've found myself in... (These are not just about crappy interviewees, but more like crappy interview situations I've found myself in, so it involves PR agents, managers, and so on as well...)

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THE OVER-ZEALOUS AND PUSHY PR AGENT

(At the end of the interview)

Me
: So, Mr. So-Snd-So, thank you for your time, it's been a good interview...

PR Agent: *interrupts me mid-sentence, in front of the interviewee* BUT you haven't asked him about so-and-so product and why he thinks it is so good!

Me: Oh I did, but that's not my only focus of the stor...

PR Agent: But I think you should ask him about it! So, Mr. So-And-So, why don't you tell him how you came about to be our product's spokesperson and bla bla bla...


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THE JADED CELEBRITY

Me: So, how was it working on this project?

Interviewee: Hmph, like that lor. Nothing special.

Me: But how different was it from other jobs?

Interviewee: Nothing different lor. It's just another job to me. They asked me to appear in the movie, so I appeared in the movie lor.

Me: .........


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THE CLUELESS MARKETING GUY

Me: So, tell me about your insanely awesome project.

Interviewee: *takes out marketing brochure and reads it word for word* Our project is done like this because we want to be bla bla bla....

Me: But what can you tell me about it that is NOT on the brochure? What about the impact of this project on this particular issue?

Interviewee: Err... Um... I don't know wor. You have to ask our engineer.


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THE PARANOID CELEBRITY

Me: So, how is your family doing?

Interviewee: Er... er... *looks, wild eyed, at PR agent*

PR Agent: *interrupts* I'm sorry, but please do not ask any personal questions...


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THE SNOTTY MANAGEMENT

Snotty manager of prominent K-pop star: Oh, my client doesn't have TIME for all these interviews. Please cut this one, this one, and that one out.

Me: Oooh, they cut me out. AWESOME. No need to do work.

Sponsor of prominent K-pop star's concert: NOOOOOOOO!!!! YOU CANNOT CUT THAT PAPER OUT!!!!!!!


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THE OVERLY PREPARED INTERVIEWEE

(One day before interview)

PR Agent: Can you send me a list of questions you will be asking so the client can prepare?

Me: I usually prefer not to, but here's a few 'general' questions...

(The next day, the 'client' turns up with an 'answer sheet' and proceeds to READ answers from the paper. Unfortunately for him, I didn't ask a SINGLE QUESTION from the list I gave earlier...)

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