20 Reasons Why I Don't Have a Gym Membership

I got another call from a fitness center telemarketer the other day. As usual, it didn't last very long because I asked her my usual: "Do you have a badminton hall?" question and she hung up soon after that.

Anyway, everyone and their dog seems to be in a gym these days. Some are more obsessive about it than others, while some just have the membership, and are convincing themselves (sometimes unsuccessfully) to go workout, just because they paid so much for it.

A LONG LONG time ago (back in 2006, to be exact. Yes, that's how old this blog is), I actually wrote this post - How to get Eyeris to Join a Gym: An Expert Guide. So, just for the sake of balancing out the argument (and at the risk of flogging a dead horse), here are 20 reasons why I DON'T have a gym membership. And yes, some of them are rehashed. So sue me.

And YES, I KNOW that everyone has their own reasons for joining a gym and working out at a gym, and that there is a lot more variety of workouts in gyms these days, and that you love every minute of it.. Good for you. These are MY reasons for not joining a gym, so it won't apply to everyone (probably just me, actually). So there.

-------------------------------------------------

1) I have to pay HOW MUCH A MONTH to join this gym? For HOW LONG???

2) WHAT? NO BADMINTON HALL?

3) I grew up playing sports, and I cannot fathom why more people don't play sports to get fit. Ok, maybe some have injuries that prevent them from playing sports, but still....

4) For me, it's a lot more fun to play sports than to spend 2-3 hours of your time doing almost the same things over and over and over again.

5) Even if I didn't play badminton, I'd rather go out jogging in the park than jog on a treadmill in a gym. At least there's something new with every step I take.

6) NO, I don't need your advice, Mr. Fitness Coach. I'm just here to work up a sweat. Yes, I'm aware I'm not supposed to be using the weights to iron my shirt, thank you so much for your kind advice.

7) MEET PEOPLE? You're seriously telling me that people go to gym to MEET PEOPLE? THAT'S your selling point, Miss Fitness Center Telemarketer????

8) Burn what? Cardio what? Huh? Why so complicated? When do we get to kick some ass, huh?

9) I don't need six-pack abs. I have a six-pack of beer in my belly.

10) The badminton hall uncle doesn't call me up in the middle of the night asking whether I want a free trial.

11) Personal trainer? I was yelled at by a coach every day for almost a year. I don't need that kinda stressed when I exercise anymore.

12) Yes, it's convenient. Yes, you can workout on your own. But exercise is more fun when you're with friends (and when you're smashing the shit out of them or tackle the ball from under their feet. MUAHAHAHA)

13) REPITITIONS. PAH. BOOORINGGGG.

14) Seriously, if you tell yourself "I paid this much for this, so I'm gonna workout to get my money's worth!", then you're really not working out for the right reasons lor...

15) I love that rush of adrenaline you get when you score a goal or execute a brilliant shot while playing sports. Where am I gonna get that in a gym? When I hit 50km/h on the treadmill? Or cycle so fast that I break the machine?

16) At least I know that the guys I play badminton with are not just there to pick up chicks or ogle at muscle-bound men.

17) People with arms larger than my thighs scare me.

18) Oh look, naked men walking around the locker room. Nope, don't need to see that.

19) I spent a good part of 10 years of my life in gyms while training in athletics. I've had enough of that shit.

20) Seriously, I have to pay HOW MUCH for that membership? Thanks, Miss Fitness Center Telemarketer, but not thanks.