Super Non-Halal Vodka

When I was doing 'research' for one of my Tipsy-Turvy columns, I stumbled upon an article that mentioned bacon-flavoured vodka. I didn't really think much about it then, until Deep actually blogged about it later on, and his post included a few links to recipes on how to make your own bacon vodka.

And since I had about half a bottle of vodka left from the free bottle I won from air-guitaring at the Absolut Rock party, I decided, what the heck, lets try to make some bacon vodka!

It's actually really easy. First you get some bacon, and fry it:



You can either leave it in strips, or cut them into chips like I did:



Now that you have your nicely fried bacon, get your bottle of vodka:



And dump all the bacon inside!



Yeah, looks damn yucky, I know.

Anyway, the next step is to keep the bottle aside in a cupboard for about 3 weeks.

At the end of 3 weeks, put the bottle into the freezer to solidify the fat, and then use coffee filter paper to filter it.

At the end of it, you should get a very nice golden colored vodka that actually smells exactly like bacon (albeit with a very strong vodka kick).



After all that, how does it taste?

BLOODY BRILLIANT.

No kidding. Bacon vodka may sound a little yucky, but it actually tastes BRILLIANT. Fireangel will attest to it, we actually tried it neat for the first time two weeks ago at a little Drink Eyeris' Booze get-together, and it was great!

At first taste, it tastes exactly like bacon - freshly-fried bacon; and then the vodka kicks in. And the finish is a nice, lingering bacon flavor.

Whoever first thought of infusing bacon with vodka, I salute you. Heck if the commercially produced BAKON VODKA tastes anything like what I made, then someone needs to start bringing bottles of the stuff here RIGHT NOW!

Though I reckon that we're gonna need some SUPER-non-halal stickers to slap to them bottles....

Book Review: Vodka Classified (Stuart Walton)

Has it REALLY been almost two years since my last book review? Instead of 'Hopefully Weekly Book Reviews', I should start calling them 'Hopefully-bi-annually Book Reviews' instead...

Anyway, I've been doing a lot more reading these days, thanks to my not being able to sleep much in planes; so I decided to relaunch the book review section. And to ease things off, here's a simple one, a non-fiction book, more like a reference book in fact, on one of my favorite subjects... VODKA!

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Title: Vodka Classified: A Vodka Lover's Companion
Author: Stuart Walton

Synopsis:
It's about vodka - from the history, how its made, where its made and how to drink it. Also has a guide to over 80 of the world's best-known vodkas, and a list of cocktails.

What I Liked:

• VODKA! WHEE!
• Very educational. Good reference for the column.
• Also very interesting and simple to read. Didn't feel like I was reading an encyclopedia.
• I love the guide on all the brands. Now when I see a particular brand in the airport, I know exactly where its from and what's so special about it...
• Nice BIG pictures of the vodka brands' bottles. Sure helped me in identifying them when I was in the airport...
  
• VODKA! WHEE!

What I didn't like:

• Not much really, but I wish the cocktail section was a bit more detailed, and that each brand had a 'recommended cocktail' section.

Summary:
Do you like vodka? Want to know more about what you're drinking? Then this is the book for you. I LOVE vodka, and I've always wanted to find out more - how to appreciate it, the differences between the different brands and also HOW to drink vodkas properly.

This book is great because it was easy to read, and it also had all sorts of information about vodka. It's great for reference for my column, AND it's also made me curious to try more of the vodkas mentioned here, especially the once I've come across while traveling.

Oh, and it's about VODKA! WHEE!

Where to get it: Bookxcess has it for RM37+ I think. The original price at Kinokuniya is about RM80...

You Paid HOW MUCH for that Vodka???

Check out what I found at the Vienna Airport last week:



That's a bottle of Kauffman vodka. Yeah yeah, very nice bottle, so what? It's just another bottle of vodka right? Well, take a look at the price tag below it:



No, that's not 69 Euros. That's 6900 Euros. SIX FREAKING THOUSAND AND NINE BLOODY HUNDRED EUROS. That's almost TWENTY EIGHT THOUSAND RINGGIT. For a bottle of vodka. Do you know how many bottles of Russian Standard Imperia I can get for THAT price?

It's supposed to be the only vodka in the WORLD to have a specific vintage, and only a very low number of bottles are produced every year.

Still, RM28000 for a vodka? I think I'll stick to Russian Standard, thank you very much...

PS: I've been having a blast going through the liqour and beers sections in Vienna and Munich. Couldn't decide what to buy back.
PSS: Yes FA, there's also mini bottle of Austrian schnapps with your name on it. haha.

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Update (5:50pm, Austrian time):

Ah, stupid me. Vincent was right, I checked the price again just now and it IS only 69 Euros. BIG BIG boo boo. Read about the vodka in my Vodka Classified book which said only Russian oil Billionaires could afford a bottle of Kauffman. Turns out it´s only 69 Euros, which is only about RM280. I think you can only buy a Russian Brides left nipple for that price.

Sorry about the mistake everyone! :-P

ROCK ON, ABSOLUT-LY!

Here's what I remember about the Absolut Rock party last Friday night.

- The music was ROCKING, in all senses of the word.
- The drinks were FLOWING, though the bar was congested.
- Champagne + vodka is just EVIL

Other than that basically all I remember was this:

We came:


(The Ultimate Rock Chick With Shaven Head - Reta)


(Elfie trying to get Deep to marry her. Horng jadi tiang lampu)

We camwhored:


(Ruby, Kim, Shaolintiger, Haze, Sotong and Fireangel)

We drank (a lot):




And we went ABSOLUT-LY mental:


(Hmm, FA looks like she's trying to grope Reta here...)


(Kim air-guitaring. God doing... er whatever God does best.)

Oh yeah, then...

I played a bit of air guitar onstage



And we continued rocking with a bottle of free vodka!



ROCK ON, ABSOLUT-LY!

Absolut Kayu Emcee

This was what happened at the Absolute Love launch two months ago:



And this was what happened last month at the Absolute Love finale at Frangipani:



Don't ask.

Those damn stickers were supposed to win me a prize, dammit. Everyone was given a piece of paper with all the stickers on them, and idea was that you were supposed to collect them and the one with THE MOST stickers would win something, which was a bottle of Absolute vodka.

Mana tau the KAYU emcee went and announce that the FIRST PERSON to go up to him WITH THE MOST STICKERS would win, which is the STUPIDEST THING I've ever heard, because it means that if you had just fucking ONE sticker and went up to him FIRST, you would win.

In the end, some idiot with what, 20 stickers won because he WAS THERE FIRST, and even when I stood next to them and everyone could clearly see I had the MOST stickers, the KAYU emcee said, sorry dude, you should have been here FIRST.

Dumbass. Tak logic langsung. EMCEE KAYUUUUUUU!!!!! I WANT MY BOTTLE OF ABSOLUTE VODKA GODAMMIT!

That gross injustice aside, it was a pretty good night with lots of freeflow vodka cocktails. ShaolinTiger, Kimberlycun, Elfie, Rachel, Deep, God, and Suanie were all there (WHO CARES ABOUT KY??!!??)


(with le Suan and le GF)

There was even this cool wall with arms that hugged (or grope/fondle/molested) you as you came in. And look, the Syarikat Tumpang Glamour took a picture with it!


(Reta, I photoshop the 'exposed' part oledi. hahaha)

Oh well, at least we had fun. And the stickers made for some crazy pictures indeed. Here's me pretending to be a drunk Chinese vampire, complete with sticker on forehead:


(picture from Terenceg.com)

One thing is for sure though. You won't catch me doing this sort of thing without having a couplea vodkas already swishing in my tummy and messing up my head.

I can has more vodka?

Absolut Fantasy

Contrary to THIS post, I'm actually not THAT big a fan of Absolut Vodka. I mean, I'm a fan of vodka IN GENERAL, and I don't MIND Absolut; but I certainly don't LOVE it. So sue me, but I've been spoiled silly with awesome vodka in Poland, and Absolut isn't exactly GREAT vodka. It's GOOD, but not GREAT.

But at least it's GOOD. Between Absolut and the shite 'vodka' they serve at bars and pubs in KL (the one in Barsonic is especially foul), I'll take Absolut anytime.

I'll say one thing about them though - they have one hell of a marketing team . They have a freaking good ad campaign, and their bottles are pretty cool too. I have a whole collection of miniature Absolut bottles (I'm still trying to get my hands on a miniature Absolut Peppar bottle.. anyone wanna sell me one?).

Anyway, I've tried quite a few of their flavored vodkas too. Some are decent, some are downright awful. Pear, Citron, Apeach and Vanilla I like. Mango, Peppar... I can handle. Raspberri? Forget it. I made the mistake of buying one bottle once, and couldn't finish that huge bottle of cough mixture flavored vodka for a whole YEAR, until one drunken party where an already drunk friend downed the whole bottle all by himself.

I was in Changi recently and saw the Absolut Rock bottle, with all the leather and studs, and went, "WTF kinda vodka is this?" Stone flavored vodka? So hard it knocks you out? What's all this batu-ba... huh? Oh... ROCK.

Anyway, since they seem to be having fun coming up with their legitimate Absolut vodkas, I figured it might be fun to come up with our OWN localised Absoluts as well... Here we go!

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Absolut BKT
Inspired by claims from femes food blogger KYspeaks that bah kut teh is the best after-party supper ever, this strong vodka combines the awesomeness of vodka and bah kut teh in one custom made, one of a kind Absolut-bottle-shaped thermos bottle. It satiates your alcohol craving AND your stomach at the same time! Available in two versions - one with little pork bits, and a vegetarian one with tau foo pok instead.

Absolut Cilipadi
Forget Absolut Peppar. This is the mother of all spicy vodkas. Guaranteed to give you not just a ring of fire, but also make your throat burn when you throw it all up. Inspired by femes blogger Fireangel, because, well, you know, Cili Padi is hot. Never mind.

Absolut Cincau
Vodka with little black jelly bits. Goes well with ice, soya bean and served in little plastic bags tied with raffia string.

Absolut Death
Strong vodka with a tinge of apple. 89.9% alcohol content. Best taken neat. Approved by evil witches everywhere, for all your alcoholic princess poisoning needs.

Absolut Grog
Tagline: I can't believe it's not rum! Favored by pirates the world over (except in Somalia and Petaling Street), including those of the bargain bin variety. Best consumed after an attack by dangerous rum-burning Kiera Knightleys.

Absolut Finlandia
Two of Scandinavia's biggest vodka manufacturers come together in a bid to out-vodka THE original and still the best vodka makers from Poland and Russia (both countries that produce THE BEST VODKA in the WORLD, BTW. Smirnoff non-withstanding).

Absolut Kopi-O
Coffee-flavoured vodka. Served on the rocks in large quantities, and in plastic cups. Mixture of caffeine, high sugar content (there is a kurang manis version, but it is generally frowned upon by vodka enthusiasts) and alcohol ensures you get drunk but remain alert. Beware of deadly hangovers in the morning.

Absolut Senget
Strong vodka guaranteed to make you senget. Comes in a limited edition senget designer bottle inspired by the senget adventures of the Thirsty Blogger.

Absolut Shite:
Actually gin.

Absolut Single:
The complete opposite of Absolut Love, this is a vodka made especially for The Last Happy Single Girl and all the other single girls out there. Derived from a love potion recipe by the best bomoh in Malaysia (guaranteed to have never been prosecuted for rape or fraud), it is guaranteed to make any guy look handsome and charming after you drink at least five shots. Neat.

Absolut Sweat
Their venture into the isotonic drink market. Now you can workout, and then replenish your body fluids AND get drunk at the same time! Inspired by Suanie's efforts at Bootcamp. Take note, Bootcamp instructors, if you dangle a drink in front of her she might drag that tyre a lot faster...

Absolut Water
Exactly what it says. Alcohol content: 0%. Highly recommended by femes noob drunk blogger Kimberlycun.


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