The Shittiest Coffee Liqueur In The World

If you didn't know already, I actually have a column in the paper now about liquor, spirits and beer (basically everything to do with alcohol, EXCEPT for wine); and this week's story was about coffee liqueurs. In that article, I mentioned four brands - Illyquore, Kahlua, Sheridan's and Tia Maria.

What I DID NOT mention was that I also had a FIFTH bottle of coffee liqueur (if you could call it that) at home that I COULD NOT write about in the paper.

Behold.... The one, the only... er.... COFFEE BUCKS coffee 'likeur'!



I spied this on a shelf while shopping for er... fruits in Miri, and was intrigued. A locally-made coffee liqueur? And for only FIVE BUCKS? So I decided to buy a bottle just to see what it was like.

As expected, it was pretty shite.



Claiming to have 20% ABV, this 'Coffee Bucks' thingy tasted more like a mixture of turpentine and really bad tuak. If there was any coffee in it, it was probably made from the residue coffee grounds taken from kopitiams around Miri...

And don't even ask me how it tasted in cocktails or in coffee.. I wasn't gonna spoil my coffee or cocktails with THIS shit. In fact, after that initial sip of it neat, I couldn't get the taste out of my mouth for AGES....

Brilliantly, it was also bottled in a recycled Tsing Tao Beer bottle...



If the price and blatantly ripped-off name didn't warn you off this shit already, that bottle should. Now excuse me while I go use it to clean my toilets...