The Eyeris Quarter Impression Rule

How I Met Your Mother is awesome. No let me rephrase that - Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother is awesome. Unfortunately, you know when you've watched WAY too much How I Met Your Mother when you actually start talking like Barney Stinson and coming up with half-baked theories about men and women, AND give those theories NAMES.

This actually happened last night, when Fireangel and I were out having way too much Kronenbourg 1664 beer and tok-kok-ing about how guys check out girls and I came up with The Eyeris Quarter Impression Rule of Courtship.

You know how people say that the first impression is the one that counts? I say nay. For guys, it's actually way before that. Before you even hit the First Impression part of the courtship, guys tend to go through two other phases first:

Quarter Impression:
Check her out from the neck down. This is to er... make sure that she is actually a she.

Once it has been established that she is actually a she (and has a body that you wouldn't mind being... ahem, close to), comes the:

Half Impression:
Check her out from the neck up. This is to see if she's good looking enough and worth mustering the courage to go talk to her and face potential rejection.

Once the Quarter and Half impressions have been made (and is positive), THEN comes the:

First Impression:
Actually talking to her and getting to know her.

Ok fine, it's a little sad and maybe a little (ok, VERY) shallow, but if you think about it, this really is true (Admit it, guys!). And besides, it's a half-baked theory cooked up when I was high on beer. So yeah, it might be a little flawed (heh heh).

But hey, that goes to show that with a little (ok, A LOT OF) beer and some good tok-kok-ing company around, ANYONE can be Barney Stinson (ok no, Barney Stinson is awesome and no one can be him. EVER.)