Thursday, January 21, 2010

Angel with Guns, Fuck Yeah! (OMG, Did He Just Say The F-Word?)



Legion.
Not a review.
Haha, did he just say motherfucker?
HAHA! Stupid censors missed it!
Losers!
Eh wait, did he just say the F-word again?
And again? And again?
Holy shit, they hardly made any cuts!
Now THAT'S a shocking movie!


(Wow, religious explosions. Nice.)

Paul Bettany.
Wussy Wimbledon tennis player.
Former Russell Crowe sidekick.
Now an ass-kicking fallen angel.
An angel with GUNS. LOTS OF GUNS.
And who also looks constipated the whole time.



It's not exactly a MUST-watch.
More like a CAN-watch.
Story so-so only,
But hey, there's lots of guns and zombies.
And a lot of zombie-fodder.
And there's a freaky little old lady.


(Zombies like to open their mouths a lot, eh?)

The whole story is about God losing faith in mankind,
AGAIN (last time he used a flood. This time he used zombies.)
Because we keep fighting over words in old books.
(And what to call him in Malay)
Quite simple, really. Nothing complicated.
It's just an excuse for people with guns to whack zombies without guns.



There was what, ONE real angel with actual wings?
(Quite a kickass one though)
But eh,
If all those zombies were possessed by ANGELS,
Why the hell do they look so ugly?
You'd think angel-possessed people would look cooler.
NOOO. They look like mutated ice-cream truck men.
Sheeesh.

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