Tom's Cruise Reaches Jack.

Jack Reacher.
Not A Review
PHWOAR NOT BAD WOR.
Tom Cruise kicks ass!
No, really.
He's actually pretty good here.



This is a pretty solid movie.
Good writing, good acting,
good action, good script,
Like a feature length CSI/Sherlock/Bourne hybrid,
With a kick ass Tom Cruise.



The only thing that's missing is a hot babe,
Rosamund Pike is fine,
She may be a former cleavage revealing Bond Girl,
But here she's no cleavage revealing "Reacher Girl",
(ok, she does show cleavage, but not in THAT way)
She's actually pretty good here too.



But really, this is all about Tom Cruise,
And how un-Tom Cruise-like he is here.
No billion dollar megawatt smile,
And no posturing around like he owns the world.
This my favorite Tom Cruise movie since Collateral.



If you've ever had any reason whatsoever,
To doubt his ability to carry a movie on his own,
(Not that you would, come on, it's TOM CRUISE)
This will prove you wrong.
As Jack Reacher, he is great,
Cool, charismatic, and sometimes snarky and cocky
But Oh so fun to watch..
Yes, he is nigh invincible,
(No he doens't have a superpower)
(he just EXUDES an aura of invincibility)



Story is pretty good too,
Like something out of Person Of Interest,
Good flow, great action, good script,
And some THRILLING sequences,
Especially that part looking through the sniper's scope.
And one heck of a car chase.



I wouldn't mind watching a sequel of this,
Though I get the feeling it'll work better as a TV show.
It already feels like Person of Interest without the Machine
And thanks to Tom Cruise,
Jack Reacher is one hell of a character.

Stop Preaching And Beat Up Some Bad Guys Already, Jackie.

CZ12.
十二生肖
Not a review.
After all that mucking about with dramatic roles,
Jackie Chan is back!
Well, sort of.
He goes back to the old school sort of stunts and action,
But it's very clear that he's too old for this shit already.



I missed this Jackie Chan.
The one that used to fall off clock towers,
Hang off buses with umbrellas,
And fly around KL on a helicopter rope ladder.
Sure, he's older now, And not so fast,
even when he's wearing a roller suit.



Ok, the plot is pretty dumb,
and the middle part in the jungle is jawdroppingly BAD
(featuring the stupidest pirates ever filmed)
The dialouge is HORRENDOUS.
English? French? Mandarin?
MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY.
AND WHO THE HELL TALKS LIKE THAT???



Hmmm, cute girl though.
But VERY VERY Annoyingly self-righteous.
Wanted to slap her a few times.
No cleavage rating though.
But really, if you wanted cleavage,
You should have gone to the recent press conference in KL
She didn't just show cleavage,
She was almost TOPLESS.
(No, I can't publish those photos here, heh)




Still, it's Jackie Chan.
The action is still pretty good.
The sofa fight against the Vulture was great,
And that final fight in the factory was awesome,
but still a bit tame by his earlier standards
And he recycled all his old tricks,
Like, stop whacking your balls with sticks already, Jackie.



Oh, and yes we get it, Jackie.
Stolen national relics should go back to their countries.
Doesn't mean you have to keep HAMMERING on about it.
To the point of being overwhelmingly PREACHY.
go beat up some bad guys already.

By Thorin's Beard, I've Missed Middle Earth...

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.
Not a Review.
In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit.
It wasn't just any hobbit, mind,
This was BILBO BAGGINS.
And this is the story of how he went there and back again.



Ah, it's good to be back in Middle Earth.
The Hobbit theme still brings a fond tear to my eye.
And Gandalf! Dear Gandalf.
Ian Mckellen is still as wizardly as ever.
And he kicks a lot more ass too!
And of course... Bilbo!



Martin Freeman is EXCELLENT as Bilbo Baggins.
Every single thing he does, his speech, mannerisms,
His little twitches, hand gestures, and even his eyes,
Were exactly like I imagine Bilbo Baggins to be like.
Tentative, yet curious; timid yet courageous,
He's now my favorite Hobbit in the ENTIRE series.



Ok now, deep breath...
Dori, Nori, Ori, Gloin, Oin, Kili, Fili,
Bombur, Bofur, Bifur, Balin, Dwalin...
And Thorin Oakenshield.
Other than Balin, Dwalin, Kili, Bombur,
Bofur (or was it Bifur?), and Thorin,
I really couldn't tell which dwarf was which half the time.



Thorin is great though.
Kinda like what I imagine him to be, actually.
Though he's like a surlier, emo version of the one in the book,
With a lot more backstory and baggage.
And oooh, I'd love to have a replica of Orcrist.



Oooh, Riddles In The Dark!
One of my favorite parts of the book!
And it turned out to be one of the best parts of the movie!
Gollum! Gollum!
The poor wretched thing...
Give Andy Serkis an Oscar already!



It's lighter and funnier than LOTR,
(Just like the books, mind you),
And there certainly are some slow parts.
But it's no slower than the first half of FOTR was.
In fact, unlike all the Arwen toilet breaks in LOTR,
Here, I could only identify one certifiable toilet break.



In fact, the slower, quieter scenes were actually my favorites.
(other than that toilet break scene, of course)
Sure, the action was BIG and LOUD,
But somehow they didn't really register as resonantly,
As say... The Bridge of Khazad-dum.
I can't wait for the Battle Of the Five Armies though.
And SMAUG! Can't wait for SMAUG!
WOOT!



At first I was confusticated and bebothered about the "Trilogy"
I thought they really should have kept it at TWO movies.
But after watching the first one,
AND then re-reading the book,
I realized that it DOES make sense after all.



*MILD SPOILER, FOR THOSE WHO READ THE BOOK)
The Hobbit is such a short book, sure,
But there is A LOT going on in there.
The first movie only comes up to Chapter SIX of the book,
And almost ALL the major set-pieces ARE in the book.
Stone giants, the Great Goblin, the three trolls...
They could have done without the Radagast scenes though.



Yes, there ARE embellishments to the story,
As Gandalf would say, the best tales always have some.
But for the most part, they've stayed true to the book.
Though I figure certain scenes were probably there,
Just so the old gang could get together.



It's like a companion piece to LOTR,
With some very familiar faces.
Just don't set your expectations too high though.
It aims for the grandeur and epic scale of  LOTR, but doesn't quite get there.
(I don't get why people complain about the "frame rate" though).
(Seemed fine to me)




Do I like it?
Yeah I liked it.
It's probably 30 minutes too long,
And certain scenes ARE rather slow.
But it's still par for the course.
Besides, it's THE HOBBIT.
And it's worth it watching just to go back to Middle Earth...

Insert Coin, Press Start... AND START WRECKIN'!

Wreck-It Ralph.
Not a review.
Video games heaven! WHEE!
Sonic! Street Fighter!
Tapper's! Pac Man!
PONG! FREAKING PONG!!!!
OMG all the awesome cameos!



If you love video games,
You'll love this movie.
Especially all the retro videogames.
The arcade ones most of all.
Brings back memories of Street Fighter marathons.
NOW I know what Ryu and Ken do after the arcade closes!



No, Fix-It Felix is not a real game (Yet)
Neither is Sugar Rush or Hero's Duty (Yet)
But they're all based on SOME other game.
And I wouldn't mind playing those games actually.
Ok maybe not Sugar Rush.
I suck at racing games.
Loved playing Daytona, but sucked at it.



Zangief! M. Bison!
Bowser! Dr. Robotnik!
That orange ghost from Pac Man!
Now THAT'S what I call a bad guy support group!



Q*bert!
%#*@&!
@#%$(*?
%#@#%^#...
Aaaawww, poor guy...



I loved watching all the cameos,
And also the video game references.
then they got to Sugar Rush,
And then all the sugar references were er... SWEET.
Heh heh.



Ngehehehe, Jane Lynch,
Awesome kickass character!
With a tragic backstory LOL.
The little kid a bit annoying,
but after awhile she's cute and grows on you.
She's er... SWEET!



I really hope they make a sequel,
And give those familiar old game characters more screen time.
I'd love to see a retro arcade / game console crossover,
Imagine, the Double Dragon twins vs. Altair and Ezio!
Or Zangief vs. Kratos!
Or Pong versus Tetris!
Er ok, maybe not.

Naughty or Nice, Santa's Gonna Kick Your Ass!

Rise Of the Guardians.
Not A Review.
SANTA CLAUS!
THE EASTER BUNNY!
THE TOOTH FAIRY!
SANDMAN!
JACK FROST!
Together at last, and kicking ass!



I LOVE team-ups like this.
Especially when you think about it,
It DOES make sense,
That all these myths and legends would hangout right?
I mean, surely they don't just muck around waiting for Xmas etc?
They've got to do SOMETHING.



I love how each of them have their own characteristics,
And how their worlds and powers reflect their holidays.
It's like the Avengers, but with holiday legends instead!
The only one I didn't really like was Jack Frost,
I thought he was a bit er... MEH.



Santa and the Easter Bunny have never been THIS badass.
Santa with "Naughty" and "Nice" tattoos?
Easter Bunny with egg bombs and a wicked boomerang?
And holy cow, Sandman!
Don't let the cute demeanour fool ya,
He is one kickass little dude!



HAHAHAAH I LOVED THE ELVES!
I'd love to watch a crossover between this and Despicable Me.
Just so Santa's Elves can fight the Minions.
CUTEST FIGHT EVER!
They can throw in Easter bunny's eggs as well,
Just don't let the Yetis join in.
Oh, and bring on Madagascar's Penguins as well! LOL



Oooh, the Boogeyman!
And his Nightmares.
I like how the Nightmares are horses.
Night-mares, geddit?
I thought it was Benedict Cucumberpatch at first.
Turns out it was Jude Law.



This is probably one of the more enjoyable Xmas movies I've seen,
It's fun, exciting, and cool.
Dreamworks' movies really are getting better and better,
Look out Pixar,
Time to start looking over your shoulder!

Go Watch Goliath Or I'll Zap You With My Heatray

War of The Worlds: Goliath
Not a Review.
Malaysia Boleh!
Well, sort of.
Eh, 70% Malaysian production ok!
And it's the most important parts too!



It's like a sequel to the original WOTW.
Yeah, after all those silly Martians died,
After catching a cold MUAHAHAHA.
So, after that, humans just sapu their toys lor.
And built their OWN awesome tripods.
FUCK YEAH!



Can someone PLEASE make a polystone statue of the Goliath Tripod?
The design is AWESOME.
It's all designed by Malaysians, BTW,
I loved the way they mixed steampunk and Martian tech,
The animation, the design were also pretty damn good.



Ok, now on to the story.
Er, ok, this is where it's a little flimsy.
Ok fine, it's a fairly simple story.
Martians came, killed, and ACHOOO! died.
Humans survived, and made AWESOME MARTIAN KILLING MACHINES.
Martians come again, TO KILL US ALL!
(This time after taking their anti-flu jabs).
Humans fight back valiantly!
KABOOM RATATATAT PEW PEW ZZZEENGGGEEOWWWWWW
(that last one's the heat ray)
Annnd.. you can guess the rest.



Yup, pretty standard story,
But don't let that stop you from watching this.
It's actually pretty entertaining.
Like watching Robotech or Gundam,
But without the complicated trippy stuff.
Well, at least it felt that way to ME.



I like how they set it in WWI though.
It was like a WHAT IF Martians attacked before WWI.
And how they put in all those historical figures.
Teddy Roosevelt, The Red Baron,
NIKOLA TESLA FTW!



Adam Baldwin FTW!
Yeah, his character pretty much steals the show
Ok, he's only in it for a bit, but STILL!
The rest were not bad,
There's even a Malayan dude there,
Goes to a bar and drinks tea,
And he's got mad keris-wielding Martian-killing skills!



It's a bit slow in the beginning,
But once the tripods start kicking ass,
Then it gets pretty cool.
Seriously, if Tom Cruise's movie had him driving a tripod
And taking the fight to the MArtians,
Instead of just running away and hiding,
I bet it would have been SO MUCH MORE AWESOME.