Go Watch Goliath Or I'll Zap You With My Heatray

War of The Worlds: Goliath
Not a Review.
Malaysia Boleh!
Well, sort of.
Eh, 70% Malaysian production ok!
And it's the most important parts too!



It's like a sequel to the original WOTW.
Yeah, after all those silly Martians died,
After catching a cold MUAHAHAHA.
So, after that, humans just sapu their toys lor.
And built their OWN awesome tripods.
FUCK YEAH!



Can someone PLEASE make a polystone statue of the Goliath Tripod?
The design is AWESOME.
It's all designed by Malaysians, BTW,
I loved the way they mixed steampunk and Martian tech,
The animation, the design were also pretty damn good.



Ok, now on to the story.
Er, ok, this is where it's a little flimsy.
Ok fine, it's a fairly simple story.
Martians came, killed, and ACHOOO! died.
Humans survived, and made AWESOME MARTIAN KILLING MACHINES.
Martians come again, TO KILL US ALL!
(This time after taking their anti-flu jabs).
Humans fight back valiantly!
KABOOM RATATATAT PEW PEW ZZZEENGGGEEOWWWWWW
(that last one's the heat ray)
Annnd.. you can guess the rest.



Yup, pretty standard story,
But don't let that stop you from watching this.
It's actually pretty entertaining.
Like watching Robotech or Gundam,
But without the complicated trippy stuff.
Well, at least it felt that way to ME.



I like how they set it in WWI though.
It was like a WHAT IF Martians attacked before WWI.
And how they put in all those historical figures.
Teddy Roosevelt, The Red Baron,
NIKOLA TESLA FTW!



Adam Baldwin FTW!
Yeah, his character pretty much steals the show
Ok, he's only in it for a bit, but STILL!
The rest were not bad,
There's even a Malayan dude there,
Goes to a bar and drinks tea,
And he's got mad keris-wielding Martian-killing skills!



It's a bit slow in the beginning,
But once the tripods start kicking ass,
Then it gets pretty cool.
Seriously, if Tom Cruise's movie had him driving a tripod
And taking the fight to the MArtians,
Instead of just running away and hiding,
I bet it would have been SO MUCH MORE AWESOME.

Jangan Lupa Tonton Looper

Looper.
Not a Review.
Yes, this is a bit late.
I missed the damn preview.
And actually PAID to watch this ok.
But it was worth it.



One of the more interesting films of the year.
The story is pretty damn good,
Just don't think to much about the time travel bits,
Or your head will hurt,
And we'll be spending all day drawing diagrams.



Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Bruce Willis!
Now that's already one reason to watch this.
The guy is GOOD.
And what is it with him and these mindfuck movies?
STOP MESSING WITH OUR FRAGILE LITTLE MINDS JGL!



Oooh, Emily Blunt.
Very grubby looking though.
No cleavage rating.
But Piper Perabo goes topless!
Censored here unfortunately.
BAH.



Great story,
Great execution.
It does get a bit predictable though,
Especially once Bruce starts shooting though.
But man, that is some awesome shooting.



It's a terrific film though.
Got action, drama, great acting,
And a decent time travel story,
One that doesn't fry your brain like an egg.
Go watch it.
It's one of the better movies of the year so far.



Yes, go watch it or Emily Blunt will shoot you in the FACE.

THERE WILL BE BLOOD (But is it acidic?)

Prometheus.
Not a review.
This movie is asks a lot of questions.
Where do we come from?
Who made us?
WHY did they make us?
What exactly IS Prometheus?
And WILL THERE BE ALIENS???

Is that the Space Jockey from Alien?
What is he doing in Prometheus?
What is Weyland Corp up to this time?
What are those strange cylinders?
What is the significance of that BIG GIANT HEAD?

What do androids do on the ships when the crew is in stasis?
What is Michael Fassbender's android up to?
Why is Charlize Theron so hot?
Why does Noomi Rapace remind me of Sigourney Weaver?
And WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT BIG GIANT HEAD??!!????

So, Prometheus IS set in the Alien universe?
But is it actually an Alien prequel?
Or is it something else entirely?
Then why does it feel so much like an Alien movie?
And why does it keep making us ask this questions?
AND WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THAT BIG GIANT HEAD??!!????

Should you go and watch it?
Do you love Alien movies?
Do you like Ridley Scott's Alien?
Do you like moody, atmospheric science fiction?
Do you want to forget the memory of those horrible AVP movies?
Then why are you asking me such a dumb question for?

BUT is it an Alien movie or not?
Are there facehuggers?
Are there chestbursters?
And most of all,
ARE THERE VICIOUS XENOMORPHS WITH PENIS SHAPED HEADS?
Why do you want to know so much?
Don't you want the movie to surprise you instead?

No Computer Programming Involved, but Some Mindfuckery May Occur.

Source Code
Not a review.
Whoa, mindfuck!
Not as mindfuckingly awesome as Inception, of course,
But at least it fucks the mind out of Sucker Punch.
(which didn't have much mind to begin with)
(Oh, and this ain't about some silly programmer)
(who becomes a billionaire by writing some source code either)



Welcome back, Jake,
Enough of that stupid Prince of Persia shit, ok?
Just concentrate on acting,
And leave the silly jumping action man shit to others, k?



Wah that Michelle Monaghan chick quite cute.
I never realised she was so cute.
All the movies I've seen her in she's always some bitch,
Or some whiny other girl etc etc.
Here she actually reminded me of an older Kristin Kreuk.
No Cleavage Rating though, sorry.



Story? Dowan to tell you.
Afterwards tell you oledi you say I reveal spoilers.
It's about a bomb.
And some sci-fi source code thingy.
That's all I'm gonna reveal here.
Go watch it to find out lar.


(Man, this heat wave is KILLING me...)

Yeah it IS worth watching.
It ain't just some action movie with sci-fi elements to it.
It's a sci-fi movie that actually makes you THINK.
(but not think TOO much your head hurts)
It's got some action bits, some romance bits,
And some WHOA MNDFUCK bits.
And hey, at least it's WAAAAY better than Sucker Punch, ok?

Don't Make Me Come And Adjust You

The Adjustment Bureau
Not a Review.
Based on a Philip K. Dick story.
And not many adaptations were very good.
Besides Blade Runner and arguably Minority Report.
so yeah, my expectations weren't very high.
But at least the movie adjusted my scepticism somewhat.



Matt Damon.
MATT DAMON!
Maaaatt Daaaamon.
Matt... Damon.
Matt DAAAAAmon.
MATT DAMON!



Ok, maybe I shouldn't have watched Team America before this.
Ooooh, it's Emily Blunt.
I quite like her.
Hot babes with English accents are always awesome.
Cleavage rating: 7.8!
(Only because she looks a little scrawny here sometimes)



What EXACTLY is the Adjustment Bureau?
It's got hats. Lots of hats.
Oh, and doors. Lots of doors.
Other than that, go find out yourself lar
And remember to suspend a little belief at the same time.



I quite liked it.
A bit slow at parts, but the build-up was good.
So should you watch this or not?
Hey, it's YOUR own free will,
so make that choice yourself.
And don't make me come and adjust you.

Battle-ready Smurfs vs. Gargamel's mech warriors. IN THREE DEE!

Avatar.
Not a review.
I see blue people.
In THREE DEE!
Didn't get as big a headache as I expected.
Damn long though.
Two hours 43 minutes long, to be exact.
That James Cameron dude doesn't like making short films now huh?
First Titanic, now this.



The movie is like Dances With Wolves with blue people.
Like Titanic with blue people and no ship.
Like the APV's in Matrix Revolutions vs. an army of Nightcrawlers.
Like Ripley's Powerloaders vs. Mystique
Like battle-ready Smurfs vs. Gargamel's army of mech warriors
Like the Blue Man Group vs. Daft Punk.
In THREE DEE!



Story is so-so.
The usual human guy goes to native village,
Learns the natives' ways,
And leads them in a fight against the oppressors he used to be with.
Almost exactly like Dances With Wolves, actually.
Except the natives are blue.
And everything is in THREE DEE.



BTW, why are they always BLUE?
Why can't they use PINK, or GREEN?
Why the color discrimination?
Is BLUE the new WHITE?
Why aren't there BLACK aliens? (Oh wait, that would be RACIST)
Is it because BLUE looks better on THREE DEE?



Effects were awesome though.
The battle scenes, the forest scenes,
So PWETTY! SO AWESOME! SO COOL!
Hard to believe it was all CGI at times.
I'll take this over Robert Zemeckis' performance-capture anytime.
even the THREE DEE was a lot more impressive.



The action was pretty damn cool too.
Kinda made up for the draggy bits.
And that bad guy general very despicable.
Stereotypically despicable, but despicable no less.
And look, it's Ellen Ripley pretending to be Diane Fossey!
But her role was more Gorillas In The Mist than Aliens.
I kept hoping she'd get into a powerloader.
Damn. That would be awesome in THREE DEE.



Yes, in case you didn't notice already,
You really should go watch this in THREE DEE.
Besides, James Cameron filmed it with 3D in mind,
And it looks GORGEOUS in 3D.
Because as a movie, it's a pretty standard sci-fi movie.
A very LOOOOONG one.
With ho-hum dialogue and a predictable story.
But in 3D, you'll be too busy ooh-ing and ah-ing to care,