How To Have A Great Party: The Heineken Way

Hello everyone! Let me tell you what is a GREAT party.

THIS, for example, is NOT a great party:

A good party is when you've got lots of good friends, good food, and most importantly, GREAT BEER.

Behold, a great beer:

 And here is my little wife drinking that great beer with a er... straw...

But it's ok. It's Christmas time, and you can drink your beer anyway you want to! As long as it's a great beer like Heineken, of course. Hehe.

Anyway, me and a bunch of close friends celebrated a very early Christmas last week by drinking lots of Heineken at Sid’s Pub TTDI.

Oh look, a Christmas tree! Whee!

They even played lots of Christmas songs!

And together with all that Heineken we were drinking, it made me wanna SING!

ONE TWO THREE FOUR,

ALTOGETHER NOW!

Jingle beers, jingle beers,

Give me some more beer!

One big beer, one small beer,

And more Heineken beer!

YAY!

Suanie had a beer,

A Heineken beer,

And when she has a beer,

She is a happy dear!

Sotong had a beer,

A Heineken beer,

And when she has a beer,

She camwhores all the way!

HEY!

Jingle beers, jingle beers,

Give me some more beer!

One big beer, one small beer,

And more Heineken beer!

YAY!

Ok, next song:

Hark now Fireangel drinks,

A Heineken was drained…

And men will drink forevermore,

Because of awesome beer!

Ok fine, less singing, more drinking:

Greedy, greedy...

God and Mrs. God approve:

And now Suan gets into a staring contest with her Heineken:

KY buat tak tau only LOL.

So, what IS a great party? A GREAT PARTY is one where you have GREAT FRIENDS, GREAT BEER and have a GREAT TIME.

Sekian sahaja tutorial ini. Now go forth and be merry! With lots of Heineken! WHEEE!

How To Tell The Difference Between Chillin' and Restin': A Pictorial Expert Guide

How To Get a Tummy Ache: An Expert Guide

Take one empty tummy.
Throw in six pieces of McDonald's Chicken McNuggets.
Add two gulps of Coca-Cola.
Sprinkle five fries on it,
Then mix in a whole cup of chocolate fudge sundae.
Dilute the mixture with a glass of vodka lime,
And then mix it all up with two hours of badminton.
After the game, add one glass of A&W Root Beer,
Two pieces of fried chicken,
And finally, garnish with two onion rings.
Voila! One tummyache special!
Serves one toilet bowl.

How to defend the new Transformers movie: An expert guide

Sure, the Transformers sequel ain't perfect. But I still love it. After the second time, I'd already learned to tune out during the boring bits and just focus on the bots and boobs on show without giving the story or dialogue too much thought.

Anyway, I've still been getting a lot of people coming up to me complaining that the movie is stupid and giving me stick for giving it four stars in my review. And the critics have been slamming it left right center (IMHO, I think all those critics are missing the point. But that's another story...). But that's not stopping it from grossing over USD200 million (and >USD400 million worldwide) in its FIRST WEEKEND.

Inevitably most of the grouses were about the stupid story, the bad dialog, and Megan Fox (funnily enough, most of these were from the girls... I wonder why...)

But fear not! For I've compiled a list of ready made answers for the FAQs I get all the time. So, if you are a fan of the new movie and are getting stick for loving it, fear not! just use these answers in your argument and make THE OTHER PERSON feel bad for NOT loving it! LOL

What did you think of the movie?
I think it is exactly like the first movie, minus the novelty factor, and with EVERYTHING amplified. The GOOD parts (robots, transforming, Megan) are bigger and better and there are more cool robots; but at the same time, the LOUSY parts (annoying characters, lousy dialogue and stupid plot) are also worse, and there are more annoying characters (the Twins, Agent Simmons, that annoying Leo, the parents).

But the movie is so DUMB, and the story doesn't make sense! (from a colleague)
Well DUH. OF COURSE it's dumb and silly, it's based on a line of TOYS and directed by MICHAEL BAY, for gods sake. It's not meant to be ANALYZED. Just sit back and enjoy the mayhem.

The characters are so annoying!
OK, I have no defense for this one, because the characters ARE annoying, even some of the bots (I kept wishing the twins would get stomped by Devastator). And that Leo Spitz dumbass is so annoying that even the original Transformers Annoying Guy - Agent Simmons - couldn't stand him. And can you believe Bay wants to give him a BIGGER ROLE in TF3? *shudder*

How can you love such a stupid movie?
See, this is called 'managing expectations'. If you went in, like me, expecting a stupid, mindless action-packed movie with lots of cool giant robots, then you'd love it. If you expected good story, Oscar winning acting and thought provoking dialogue... then you're watching the wrong movie, right?

I can't tell one robot from another!
To tell the truth, neither could I, especially the Decepticons. That's because there were so many of them, including 'clones' of the Constructicons who were supposed to be in Devastator... But at least we could still tell ones that mattered (Prime! Bumblebee! Jetfire! Starscream!) apart from the usual cannon fodder.

There's not enough time for the human characters! I want more Shia/Josh!
Who cares? Bay can kill ALL of them off and have just Megan Fox and the Transformers alone in the third movie for all I care...

Megan Fox is so unnecessary! She does nothing but flaunt her sexiness! (from Fireangel)
er.... your point is?

Megan Fox is so boring! (from Suanie)
Er.... her being boring is the least of our concerns for Her Foxiness lor...

Megan Fox's slo-mo scene is so uncalled for! (from a male colleague)
What are you, gay?

How To Shop Like Eyeris At A Book Warehouse Sale: An Expert Guide

• Bring your own bag, preferably one of those canvas shopping bags they sell at the supermarket. It's easier to carry than baskets, or those cardboard boxes they usually give you. Plus you don't even have to take plastic bags when you check out!


• When browsing, don't bother trying to take in every single title. Just skim through the pile or row (you can use your finger to guide you through) and only pick up books if the cover/name/author catches your eye.


• If you see something you THINK you might buy, put it in the bag first. Because if you put it back on the pile, you probably won't be able to find it later when you WANT to buy it.


• Take first, sort later. Take the books you want first, then before checking out, take everything out and sort them into piles of 1) I MUST HAVE IT; 2) If got extra money then buy; 3) I can live without it.


• If you go to a warehouse sale with the intention of only looking for ONE or TWO SPECIFIC books, good luck with that. That ain't what book warehouse sales are for, bub. The whole point is to go there and BROWSE and HUNT for books that you would normally buy (or have THOUGHT of buying but were turned off by the price) at lower prices. Keywords here are BROWSE and HUNT.


• If you're the sort who really can't control yourself when confronted with thousands of super cheap books at crazy low prices, then FORCE yourself to limit your purchasing by bringing ONLY RM100 or RM150 to the sale, and LEAVE THE DAMN CREDIT CARD AT HOME.


• If you're not sure whether you already have a book (because like me, you've bought so many before that you can't keep track of which ones you have), then DON'T BUY IT. Chances are you already DO have it, and even if you don't, consider it as money saved for OTHER books.

Will add more when I think of more...