Monday, February 1, 2010

Rastafarian Donnie Will Kick Jackie Chan's Ass this CNY



14 Blades.
錦衣衛.
Not a review.
It's got Donnie Yen!
Donnie Yen always kicks ass.
Not like Jackie Chan.
Jackie Chan doesn't kick ass anymore.
Only kiss the ass of people who pay him enough money.
I bet Donnie's movie does better than Jackie's during CNY.



Someone told me the movie was quite bad.
So I went in expecting a disaster.
But it was not bad actually.
It's got decent action,
A pretty typical kungfu story plot.
And there's Donnie Yen, of course.
Donnie Yen always kicks ass.



The fighting was not bad.
Especially when Donnie Yen is kicking ass.
Not like Flashpoint or Ip Man's awesome fighting though.
This one still got some fly here fly there.
But at least they were actually FIGHTING,
And not just flying around the place,
Or throwing stupid air swords at each other.
And striking poses all the time.
Yes Storm Warriors, I'm talking about you.



The usual kungfu martial arts movie.
Not much of a storyline.
Hero discovers plot to usurp emperor and tries to stop the plot.
Is hunted by hot female assassin
Who has habit of taking off clothes while fighting
Seriously.
Not ALL her clothes though.
Darn.



I was disappointed with the 14 blades though.
I thought the swords would be cooler.
But some of them looked like over-glorified BBQ skewers.
Heck, the BOX he kept the swords in was way cooler.
Like Batman's utility belt only,
Got grapple and can stick on walls wan.
Best.



Still, Donnie Yen kicks ass.
And he kicks A LOT of ass.
And Donnie's got some funky Rastafarian hair going.
And has a cool goatee too.
And there's Zhao Wei!
I love Zhao Wei.
I wonder if she still remembers me.
Heh heh.

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