KUNGFU! STATE OF THE ART! CHOP-SOCKY HEEEYAH!

Tai Chi Zero
太极 1
Not A Review.
Yes, I'm aware that the English name is ZERO
But the Chinese one is ONE.
Don't ask me why.
Well, the 2nd movie is supposed to be TAI CHI HERO.
ZERO to HERO, geddit? Sheesh.
What's the 3rd movie gonna be called?
Tai Chi Trio? Tai Chi Oreo? Tai Chi Gigolo?



Anyway, I had a BAAAAD feeling about this.
Because I saw a ENGLISH trailer for this during Dredd,
Which had the WORSE CHOP-SOCKY VOICEOVER EVER.
A KUNGFU STEAMPUNK THROWDOWN!
FIGHTING! KUNGFU! STATE OF THE ART!
CHOP-SOCKY HEEEYAH!



But surprisingly, this was not bad wor.
I was fairly entertained,
And I didn't cringe too much.
Which is a good thing.
Despite the crappy English dialogue,
And some facepalm moments.



The video game bits were quite fun!
Got funny little touches here and there,
Like Scott Pilgrim vs The World!
And got Street fighter scene also WTF.
But at least they were fun!
And not annoying!



The Steampunk parts were a bit dumb though.
WAH THE ANG MOH GOT AWESOME ROBOT HOUSE-EATING MACHINE!
HOW CAN THE PUNY KUNGFU BEAT THAT!
In the end it just distracted from the TAI CHI.
You'd think they'd use tai-chi to defeat the robot,
But NOOOO... first thing they say when they see it is:
"Our tai chi cannot defeat that."
*Facepalm*
COME ON, TAI CHI THE NUTS OFF THE DAMN ROBOT ALREADY.



And the story OMG.
HOW MANY TIMES YOU WANNA DO THE EAST VS WEST THING AGAIN?
EVERY Kungfu movie is about the kungfu vs angmoh thing.
I know it's what happened during that "period" in history,
BUT COME ON, ENOUGH OF THE SAME OLD SHIT ALREADY.
GET AN IMAGINATION AND COME UP WITH SOMETHING ORIGINAL PLEASE.



The fighting? Not bad wor.
The lead fella is wushu champion,
So he is damn good.
(Acting a bit kayu, but not still bad)
But I wish they didn't edit so much and so quickly.
I hate it when fights are editted so much,
Until nothing but a bunch of legs and fists flailing about.



Hmmm, Angelababy.
Not too bad, cute, but a bit kayu.
Convincing fighting though.
(BTW why does her forehead look too big for her chin?)
Tony Leung (Kar Fai, not Chiu Wai) not bad also.
Though you saw who he was a MILE away.
The bad guy was annoying like hell though.
And looks kinda stupid in that hat.



Ok lah, I quite liked it.
It's not GREAT, but fun in a mindless sort of way.
The second one seems more serious though, I think.
The hero not so bodoh giler already.
He's supposed to be some kungfu legend BTW.
So yeah, MORE FIGHTING LESS ROBOT PLEASE KTHNXBAI.

The World's Best Football Player Nicknames!

DUNCAN FERGUSON - 'Duncan Disorderly' - Scottish

The former Dundee United, Rangers and Everton striker was notorious for his 'hardman' image and his misdemeanours on and off the field, such as assault, headbutting and punching earned this fiery Scotsman the nickname 'Duncan Disorderly.'

Ferguson has had four convictions for assault - two arising from taxi–rank scuffles, one an altercation with a fisherman in an Anstruther pub, and the most infamous: his on–field headbutt on Raith Rovers defender John McStay in 1994 while playing for Rangers, which resulted in a three-month prison sentence. The first incident led to a £100 fine for butting a policeman, while the second resulted in a £200 fine for punching and kicking a supporter on crutches. He had been put on a year's probation for the third offence.

ANDONI GOICOECHEA - 'The Butcher of Bilbao' - Spanish

The former Osasuna, Barcelona, Athletic Bilbao and Spanish international was known as ' The Butcher of Bilbao.' Goicoechea left his stud-marks on the game's history when he almost ended the career of Diego Maradona in September 1983. The Argentinian superstar was left with a broken ankle and damaged ligaments, Goicoechea (right), who played for Spain at the 1984 championships - was given a 16-match ban. 'The Butcher' decided to commemorate the event by having the boots he wore that night put in a glass case and made into a permanent fixture in his living room.

TOM FINNEY - 'The Preston Plumber' - English

Sir Tom Finney truly was a one club man! He was born and bred in Preston and went on to play over 400 times for the Lancashire club between 1946 and 1960. He was also capped by England 76 times. When he was offered the opportunity to sign for Preston North End, his father insisted that he complete his apprenticeship in the family's plumbing business before signing as a professional. This led to one of his nicknames, the 'Preston Plumber.'
Sir Tom now aged 90, is one of England's oldest living former international footballers, but he still maintains his links with Preston North End.

FITZ HALL - 'One Size Fits All' - English

No hidden meaning here - just plain funny! The Leytonstone born defender is currently plying his trade at Watford but has worn the colours of Oldham, Southampton, Crystal Palace, Wigan and QPR since he turned professional over ten years ago.

KIM NAM-IL - 'The Vacuum Cleaner' - South Korean

South Korea’s holding midfielder (right) became a star in 2002 because of his performance in 2002 FIFA World Cup, where his nation reached the tournament semi-finals. He earned his nickname ' The Vacuum Cleaner' for his clean tackling and ability to tidy up a game from his position in front of the defence. The term 'Kim Nam-Il Syndrome' began to be coined by tabloids to describe Kim's superstardom status following the 2002 World Cup. He gained an unusually large female fan base and also became notorious for his frank and eccentric personality. Kim, now 35, currently plays for his hometown side Incheon United in South Korea.

DARREN ANDERTON - 'Sicknote' - English

The original 'Sicknote' - a name given to Darren Anderton by fans and the media due to his lengthy periods out with injury. Tottenham’s fans annoyance with Anderton, apart from the lengthy periods out of the team was, when having been out injured for almost the whole of the 1995-96 season, he unexpectedly returned to fitness for the final three matches of the domestic season, and was immediately selected to star for England in the European Championships in 1996. This gave the impression that the player was more interested in playing for his country rather than his club.

He missed most of the 1997–98 domestic season through injury, but was recalled to Glenn Hoddle's England squad for the 1998 FIFA World Cup in France, starting on the right wing in the first two matches of the tournament. In twelve seasons with Tottenham he made just 299 appearances and apart from three successive seasons (1995–98) when he played in total only 39 games, his appearance record averaged 29 matches each year. Anderton announced his retirement from football on 7th December 2008.

LIONEL MESSI - 'The Atomic Flea' - Argentinian

I could not let this day pass without commenting on Barcelona's Argentinian born superstar, Lionel Messi. At 25 Messi is the greatest player of his era, and maybe one day of all-time! In Spain and South America they call him ' La Pulga Atómica', meaning ' The Atomic Flea'. At the age of eleven, Messi was diagnosed with a serious growth-hormone problem. He needed expensive hospital treatment which his family simply couldn’t afford. His condition meant he was far smaller than anyone else his age, and even today he is still only 1.69 metres (5′ 7″) tall. But being smaller he was also more agile. He learnt to play with the ball on the ground, as that’s where it felt most comfortable. The rest, as they say, is history!

RAY WILKINS - 'The Crab' - English

The former England international was a much travelled club player that included spells at Chelesa, Manchester United, Milan and QPR to name but a few, but he had a penchant for passing the ball sideways. Often derided for his negative play but often had a 100 per cent pass success rate - you can't argue with that!

YOURI DJORKAEFF - 'The Snake' - French

The former French international footballer played as a forward or as an attacking midfielder and won the 1998 FIFA World Cup and European Championships in 2000 with the national team. He is nicknamed ' The Snake' because you do not know when he will strike again!
Banging the goals in for Monaco, Youri (right) spent one season at Paris St Germain before signing for Italian giants Inter Milan and then Bundesliga side Kaiserslautern, before somehow Bolton Wanderers, then managed by 'Fat' Sam Allardyce persuaded 'The Snake' to join them. He finished his playing career in the MLS with the New York Metro Stars and retired in October 2006.

JONATHAN WOODGATE - 'Village' - English

Although he denies it, Woodgate was known as ' Village' as in (village idiot) during his days at Leeds United. He began his career at Middlesbrough but moved to Leeds at the age of sixteen in 1998. However on on his frequent trips back to his native Teesside he became part of the notorious Middlesbrough 'drinking culture.' There seems little doubt that Woodgate was a personable young man when sober, but he was sucked into the drinking culture and became quite different on drink. As Woodgate became more successful and earned more, he was regularly seen at Teesside's trendiest pubs. He had a reputation for 'flashing the cash' and acting 'the big-I-am' on drinking nights in his home town. Woodgate, according to one regular publican was known to take £20 notes from his wallet and set fire to them. Once fuelled, especially with old pals in Middlesbrough where booze is plentiful and cheap, darker forces took over.

In 2000, he was a defendant with teammate Lee Bowyer in a Crown Court trial due to his involvement in a town centre brawl in which a student suffered severe injuries. The initial trial collapsed, and following a second trial, in December 2001, Bowyer was cleared of charges of GBH with intent and affray, while Woodgate was convicted of affray and sentenced to 100 hours' community service. He was also banned from international selection by the Football Association, which prevented him from being selected for the England squad for the 2002 World Cup. Never the sharpest knife in the box, perhaps, he was not bright enough to work out the dangers his social circle might embrace. His own counsel in the aborted first trial at Hull described him as 'two short planks, and thick ones at that'. Woodgate went on to play for Newcastle, Real Madrid, Middlesbrough and Spurs, but his career was blighted by injury and controversy. At the age of only 32 Woodgate has certainly led a colourful career both on and off the field, and is currently back playing for his hometown club Middlesborough.

10 Reasons Why All Beer Lovers Should Go For The Better Beer Festival!

1) BECAUSE EVERYONE DESERVES BETTER BEER! 
And Taps Beer Bar is probably the only place in town that is making the effort to buck the boring commercial beer trend and bring in AWESOME, BETTER beers. They deserve all the support they can get!

2) MORE THAN SEVENTY BEERS TO TRY! 
There will be over 70, yes SEVENTY, different craft brews from Singapore, Australia, England, Scotland, Denmark, Norway, Japan, USA, Belgium and Germany.

4) CHEAP AWESOME BEERS ON TAP! 
ALL the beers on tap at Taps will be going at RM15 a glass, which means you'll be getting AWESOME BEERS from BrewDog, Mikkeller, Nogne, Thornbridge, Harviestoun and Orkney for almost HALF THE NORMAL PRICE.

5) LEARN MORE ABOUT BEERS!
Sick of commercial beers? Too many events serving the same old beers OVER AND OVER AGAIN? Then this is the best time to come and try out some NEW, TASTY craft beers that you won't get ANYWHERE ELSE in KL.

6) CHEAP WEIHENSTEPHANER!
There's also going to be Weihenstephaner wheat beer going for RM10 a glass. Why pay more for a boring glass of Hoegaarden or Paulaner elsewhere when you have Weihenstephaner?

7) HITACHINO NEST JAPANESE CRAFT BEER!
This little owl beer is one of the most easy drinking yet unique beer brands I've tried, and they'll be at the fest!

8) LIVE MUSIC AND FUN!
There will be live music from 4pm onwards, as well as talks, beer tasting, beer auctions and lucky draws. And trust me, some of the acts who will be performing are REALLY GOOD.

9) NEW BEERS!
Besides Hitachino, the other new beers available at the festival are: Jungle Beer (Singapore), Red Dot Beer (Singapore), St Bernadus (Belgium) and Het Anker (Belgium).

10) NO CRAZY EXPENSIVE ENTRY FEES!
Entry is a RM5 donation to Taps' partner charity, the Kiwanis Down Syndrome Foundation. The donation witll entitle you to one free beer taster.

10) COME FOR THE BEER, STAY FOR THE COMPANY!
A bunch of us are already planning to camped out there for the most part of the day. I'll probably be there at about 2pm onwards, so just come over and say hi!

------------------------------------------------

The Better Beer Festival 2012:

Date: 29 September 2012 (Saturday)
Time: Doors open at 12pm
Venue: Taps Beer Bar, One Residency, 1 Jalan Nagasari, Off Changkat Bukit Bintang, Kuala Lumpur
Tel: 03-2110-1560
Email: info@tapsbeerbar.my
Facebook: facebook.com/TapsBeerBar

Beers will be available for purchase from RM15 upwards. Food and other beverages will also be available. Tokens can be purchased in RM50 lots. A minimum purchase of RM100 is required for credit card transactions. Taps Beer Bar will also be launching their membership program on that day.

they'll also be selling this cool beer glasses at the festival for RM20 each! Limited quantities only though...

Beer Of The Week: AOOOOONI! The Green Ghost Toast!

Whenever I go to Singapore, I always try to make it for a beer or two at Jibiru Japanese Craft Beer Bar at Somerset 313. It's one of my favorite drinking spots in Singapore, nice cozy little outlet, with some really great beers.



The last time I went there, I was happy to see a few new beers from the Yoho Brewing company, which also makes the excellent Yona Yona Ale. The new ones were Tokyo Black (nothing to do with the Black Tokyo Horizon), the Sun Sun Organic Beer, and my favorite, the Indo No Aooni IPA.



Damn, I LOVE that packaging. Yoho has always had nice cans, but this one is just awesome. The name means "Green Ghost" (I think, at least that's what those characters mean in Chinese), 7%ABV, and is apparently a "Full-bodied IPA with a generous floral hop aroma".



They've got the description of the aroma right. The nose is a wonderfully hoppy yet sweet, floral scent, and is probably one of the best-smelling beers I've had in a while. The colour is a nice, slightly ruby red,  amber-ish straw color too.



I have to say, this has just overtaken the Yona Yona as my favorite beer from Yoho. It's got a perfect balance of hops and sweet maltiness, and the bitterness comes through just right, meaning it doesn't hit you in the face as soon as you sip it, unlike many IPAs. It's also surprisingly easy to drink considering it's 7%ABV, and I polished off mine in no time at all. EXCELLENT.

Beer Rating: 8.5 out of 10



BTW, I'm not sure if Aooni will be at the Better Beer Festival this Saturday at Taps Beer Bar, but one beer brand from Jibiru will DEFINITELY be there - Hitachino Nest! Hopefully they'll have the AWESOME Espresso Stout, but even if they don't, Hitachino Nest still makes some GREAT beers. So head over to the Better Beer Festival to check it out!

The Unwritten Laws of Football

In addition to the official laws of the game, there are also the unwritten laws.................!

* No matter how badly a player played for a club, and irrespective of how woeful he was in front of goal, once the player leaves and returns to play against his old club, he will score against them.

* Once a manager has been sacked (right), the managerless team will win their next match.

* A manager returning to a club for a second spell will almost inevitably fail repeat the success enjoyed during his first spell at the club.

* The winning run of a team will come to an end when their manager is awarded the 'Manager of the Month' award.

* Following the sacking of a manager, a team will suddenly pick up and record victories under a caretaker manager. In turn this will prompt the Board of Directors to appoint him on a permanent basis, from which point on the team will start on a downward spiral again.

* A team that couldn't put a win together to save their lives will, once relegated start to turn things around, and win games.

* Any World Cup or European Championship group that contains three decent teams will be referred to as 'The Group of Death' (right).

* When your team is embroiled in a battle for promotion or against relegation, you will take an inordinate amount of interest in the exploits of other clubs that previously held no interest for you at all.

* No matter how bad the traffic is, there is no such thing as a long and tiresome journey home following an away win.

* The national football team of Wales has been adopted as the benchmark unit of measure for all other international football teams, as in, "We're talking of a country about the size of Wales," or "They do remarkably well for a country with a population on a par to that of Wales" (see right).

* A goal will never come about directly as a result of a short corner.

* Supporters will cheer and get excited when their team wins a corner, but invariably nothing will come of it.

* Your team are on a fine run and playing really well. As a die hard supporter you invite a 'fairweather fan' to accompany you to the next home game. Your team will play dreadfully and lose, prompting the fairweather fan to say something along the lines of: "It's been two years since I've been here and it'll be another two years before I come back."

* Every team will contain one player the supporters don't like.

* A game at Manchester United is a good day out, even though you know your team will probably not win, or be awarded at least one 'stone wall' penalty (right).

* There will always be at least one TV commentator who will refer to the Community Shield as the 'traditional curtain raiser to the season.'

* Everyone becomes a better player once they have given up playing.

Welcome to Hotel Transylvania, Such An Unoriginal Place.

Hotel Transylvania.
Not a review.
In a dark KL cinema, cold air-con in the hall.
Warm smell of popcorn, coming in through the walls.
Up there on the big screen, I saw a sickening sight,
the jokes were smelly, and the laughs were slim,
I didn't know what to write.



Sigh.
I really expected more,
Especially from the creator of Samurai Jack and Dexter's Lab.
This just seemed like a wasted oppurtunity.
Paranorman was WAY better than this.
So much more original and creative too.



I mean COME ON.
It's a HOTEL. For MONSTERS.
There's SO MUCH YOU COULD DO with that.
And all you could come up with were FART JOKES?
Could it because Adam fucking Sandler is in it?
So it AUTOMATICALLY NEEDS FART JOKES?



Drac was actually not a bad character,
But Sandler's voice just grates on me.
And Selena Gomez?
Other than the fact that she was Selena Gomez,
What else did she give the character?
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.



The Mummy! The Invisible Man!
Frankenstein's monster! The Werewolf!
All those GREAT characters and monsters!
But NOOOO, fart jokes are way funnier.
And It's ALL ADAM SANDLER.
And that HUMAN KID OMG KILL HIM PLEASE.



Ok, it was funny in parts,
But the cliches, the lazy gags,
The been there done that-ness of it all.
I was hoping for Samurai Jack to show up,
And WIPE THEM ALL OUT.
That would have been a great twist.

Love The Law, Not Dredd It.

Dredd.
Not A Review.
JUDGEMENT: NOT DREDD-FULL
JUDGE DREDD IS BACK.
LOOK OUT, MEGA-CITY ONE.
LOVE THE LAW, NOT DREDD IT.
Love Dredd, for HE IS THE LAW.



Now THIS is a Judge Dredd movie.
Not like that stupid Stallone movie,
Which was corny as hell,
And committed the ULTIMATE SACRILEGE.
DREDD DOES NOT TAKE OFF HIS HELMET OMG.



EAT YOUR HEART OUT, SYLVESTOR STALLONE.
Karl Urban's Dredd ROCKS.
KARL URBAN IS DREDD.
And he didn't even have to take off his helmet.
His CHIN acted better than Stallone.
Heck, he deserves the Time MAgazine award,
for CHIN OF THE YEAR.



Oooh, that blonde chick is pretty hot.
Ok, she's all suited up in armour,
So no cleavage rating.
But THOSE EYES.
Look AT THOSE EYES.
(And don't let her read your mind).



WHOA Lena Headey.
WHAT did they do to your FACE?
Was it the damn Greyjoys? Or the Freys?
Or was it those damn T800s?
Whatever, you are one scary bitch.



GREAT action.
Makes Expendables look like child's play.
Ok, maybe not,
But the action here was certainly a lot grittier,
And the violence was a lot more graphic too.
And there aren't as many wrinkles or saggy biceps.



Oooooh SLOW-MO...
PREEETTTYYYYY.
And in THREEE DEEEEEE...
Too bad it ain't in IMAX.
Sigh...
Oh well, at least the action is solid.
Story? What story?
GO WATCH IT.
OR THE LAW WILL KICK YOUR ASS.

Beer of The Week: Now THAT'S Hardcore

Hmmm... been awhile since I've done a Beer of the Week post. Not that I haven't tried many beers, in fact, I've tried TOO MANY beers that I don't know which one to write on! :-p



Anyway, one of my favorite beers at what is my current NUMBER ONE BEER BAR - Taps Beer Bar - is actually the awesome BrewDog Hardcore IPA. It comes in the bottle, and they usually have it on tap as well. While I prefer it a lot more on tap, the bottle one packs one heck of a punch as well.



The beer has a fresh, refreshing, grassy nose, and compared to the other BrewDog IPA available here - the rather light Punk IPA - this is a MONSTER of a beer, containing 9% ABV, and a GREAT hoppy, citrusy taste that ends with a nice, long hoppy finish. One of the better beers to go with Taps' beef rendang or satay pizzas, IMHO.

Definitely one of the better IPAs I've ever tried.



BTW, Taps will be organising the BETTER BEER FESTIVAL next Sunday (29/9) at their outlet, and besides their usual beers (which already number over 60), they've also invited over Hitachino Nest Japanese craft beers, and Singapore's upstart craft brewers Jungle Beer! Head on over HERE for more information:

To Arthur At Sid's!

Yup, if you only go for ONE Arthur's Day party this year, then go for the one at Sid's Pub TTDI this Sunday, the bar with the best Guinness in town!



The party starts at 12 noon, all the way until 8pm (or until they run out of Guinness, which will probably NEVER happen), with the black stuff going at RM10 NETT a glass.

Seeya there!

A front row ticket to The Circus. Charlton v Palace tonight. The facts and the betting!

Tonight sees a unique derby match at The Valley where Dougie Freedman takes his Crystal Palace side on a short trip to a local circus, where they have not won so much as a donkey ride for sixteen years. This however is not Merseyside, Glasgow, Sheffield or The Black Country because but this is no ordinary derby, this a South London derby where the rivalry is predominately one-sided!

Charlton Athletic hate Crystal Palace, the football club and of course that includes the fans of the club. Nothing strikingly unusual about one club and its fans disliking another club, other than that we as Palace fans care little about what goes on in London, SE7, as our true disdain surrounds a football club some sixty miles away on the East Sussex coast.

It’s fair to say that there is history between the clubs, most recently Charlton sent Palace reeling out of the top flight on the last day of the season back in 2005, but the damage had been done many weeks and matches prior to the lights being turned out on Crystal Palace’s last taste of top flight football. Charlton celebrated the relegation of Palace on that infamous last day of the season as if they themselves were celebrating a big fat gypsy wedding. The Clowns as they are affectionately nicknamed by the Palace fans’ have hit a few highs and plenty of lows in recent years, culminating in a fall from grace which ended up with Clowntown (an area of London with the postcode SE7 twinned with.......well absolutely nobody) being visited by such footballing giants as Scunthorpe and Hartlepool in the third tier of English football, (no disrespect whatsoever is meant to either The Irons or The Monkey Hangers or their fans in this piece).

Then unlike a phoenix rising from the ashes, and more like a bunch of red nosed buffoons in wigs, baggy trousers and face paint Charlton Football Club and their fickle fans pulled together and managed to rescue a semblance of respectability, by regaining their Championship status this season, after three seasons in the wilderness.

I have never known a football club like Charlton to want a rivalry with a fellow club who only on the basis of geography happen to reside close by, whilst their neighbours simply do not feel the same. For Palace, a match against the Clowns is just another league fixture, and for Crystal Palace and their fans it is the opportunity to win a match, as with any match, every week of the season. The notoriously loud Crystal  Palace fans will turn up in their numbers on the day and win, lose or draw they will sing for 90 minutes to show the pride and passion and absolute love they have for their club, no matter what!

Palace and Charlton are bordered by another South London club, in Millwall, all three of whom now ply their trade in the second tier of the English game and some sizeable Premier League London based giants such as Arsenal, Chelsea and  Tottenham, whilst we are also surrounded by some other novelty clubs in areas such as West London, East London, Hertfordshire and Kent.

Palace have a rivalry with Brighton that is as animated as any footballing rivalry in the Country, and probably the most unusual of its kind, because if you are not a fan of either team it is very unlikely that you will understand the history and subsequent loathing that the fans of these two clubs have for each other. It is indeed a truly intense and fierce rivalry and the game that both sets of fans look for the moment the fixture lists are released. If as a fan of football you want to understand better what fuelled the Palace v Brighton hostility then do please read this article.

As for Charlton, well they are looking forward to this evening’s game under floodlights like a rabbit about to pass a row of six snarling caged greyhounds before the traps fly open. This is their Cup Final! For Palace fans it’s another game with three points at stake and some clown and traveller based banter to occupy the moment, but bragging rights......well we’re just not interested!

Palace fans love their club, the owners, the management team and the players. To Palace fans, the players must play for the crest on the front of the shirt first and foremost. Any name on the back of the shirt will not break or divide the unyielding united front amongst the fans. The players know this, they play their hearts out for the name on the front of the shirt, because the name on the back can easily be replaced. At Palace we believe in the players under the stewardship of Dougie Freedman, because we have a boss who is a Crystal Palace playing legend and knows how much the club needs the fans and the fans need the club.

Charlton currently have an ex-player as their manager, and I have great respect for him, but I bleed red and blue and 3,000 Palace fans on Friday night will I believe out-sing a stadium where they will be outnumbered in the region of 6 to 1. Come what may after tonight’s match, believe me, this is just the undercard. Come the 1st December and the 17th March, as Palace fans this is when the main event truly takes centre stage!

Bring on Brighton!

Betting Preview:
Charlton win: Evens (Coral and Ladbrokes).
C.Palace win: 33/10 (BetVictor).
Match Drawn: 5/2 (Betfred, Paddy Power and Totesport).

First Goalscorer:
B. Wright-Phillips 6/1 (Paddy Power and William Hill), D. Goodwillie 9/1 (Bet365), G.Murray 10/1 (BetVictor and William Hill), O.Garvan 14/1 (Ladbrokes and Coral), A. Moritz 16/1 (Bet365 and Blue Square).

Correct Score:
Charlton win 1-0 13/2 (Bet Victor), Palace win 2-1 12/1 (Hills, Betfred and Coral) Draw 0-0 10/1 (Ladbrokes).

# Odds correct at time of going to press.
For more odds go to Oddschecker

I Demand Retribution.

Resident Evil: Retribution.
Not a review.
I demand retribution.
For all the time wasted watching this.
WHY WON'T THIS FRANCHISE DIE ALREADY????
It's like a bloody zombie that just won't stay down OMG.



Anyway,
Wow, Milla is as gorgeous as ever.
I saw her in Comic Con once,
And she is just as hot in real life.
She's probably the only good thing in the movie.
You could look at her all day and not get bored.
BTW, does she have an anti-blood shield on her face?
With all that blood flying around,
How is it she doesn't get A SINGLE DROP on her perfect porcelain face?



Oooh, Li Bing Bing as Ada Wong.
HOT.
More kayu than Keanu Reeves,
But still damn hot.
BTW how does she do ALL THAT in THAT DRESS?
And WHERE THE HELL does she keep her guns?
Does she have a magic Doraemon pocket somehwere in her bra?



Jill Valentine.
OMG SO CORNY. SO WOODEN.
I know she's supposed to be robotic and brainwashed,
BUT OMG MAKE IT LOOK CONVINCING LAR.
Michelle Rodriquez was ok though.
Didn't do much, but at least she TRIED.
AND SHE KICKS ASS. HARD.



And WTF WESKER.
Is that a REAL actor?
Are you SURE it's not CGI?
Or performance capture?
Because Andy Serkis in a leotard could act better than that.
You could replace Shawn Roberts with a KEN DOLL,
And We STILL wouldn't be able to tell the difference.



Story? WHAT STORY?
Yes, it's based on a video game.
But did you HAVE to make it EXACTLY like a Video game?
Got different levels, bosses on each level,
(What is LOTR's cave troll doing in here?)
And wah, even got "in-game map" to show you where you are!
Ok, it managed to make me wanna play the game,
Which would probably be a lot more entertaining, actually.



By the way,
I'd HATE to be the Janitor at Umbrella Coporation
Who cleans up the mess after each zombie "sequence".
Who has to turn on the lights in the morning.
Those things seem to take FOREVER to come on.
And EVERYTHING IS WHITE WTF,
So you can SEE EVERY SPOT OF DIRT OMG.



Ok lah, the action is pretty good.
Paul W.S. Anderson makes killing zombies LOOK GOOD.
And I LOVED that reversed slow-motion opening sequence.
And I never get tired of watching Milla in slo-mo,
KILLING zombies in slow-mo.
AWWWW YEAAAAH.