THUNDER! THUNDER! THUNDER... KITTEHS!

THUNDER!
THUNDER!
THUNDERCATS!
HO!!!!!!!!



Er wait, THAT'S the new Thundercats?
IS this Thundercats or Thunderkittehs?
Why does Lion-O look like he just stepped out from a Robotech anime?
(Oh wait, it's animated by a Japanese company.)
Why does Panthro look like he's from the Planet Of The Apes?
Why does Cheetara look like a punk rock chick rather than a cheetah?
Why Does Tygra... er never mind him, never liked him anyway.
And where is Wilykit and Wilykat?
And Snarf???
Actually, never mind. The less Snarf, the better IMHO.

Let's hope the new cartoon will be good!

M. Night Shyamalan Must Die For Crimes Against Awesome Cartoons

The Last Airbender.
Not a review.
Oh, this isn't THAT bad.
Just ignore the bad dialogue,
Ignore the silly plot,
Ignore the lousy acting,
Ignore the disjointed flow,
Ignore the humourless tone...
Oh who am I kidding?
Just ignore the whole bloody movie.



WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ATROCITY???
WHERE IS THE JOY, THE FUN,
THE HUMOUR, THE ADVENTURE,
THE INNOCENCE AND THE INVENTIVENESS?
EVERYTHING THAT MADE THE CARTOON SO AWESOME!
Where is it, M. NIGHT SUCKMALAN!!??!!??



I REALLY wanted to like it.
It's M. Night Shyamalan.
(Whom I'd been defending all this while, even after The Happening)
And it's AVATAR, one of my favorite cartoons EVER.
HOW could he get it so so wrong?
HOW could he COMPLETELY miss the point by SO MUCH?
It's a CARTOON for gods sake.
His kids should be ASHAMED of him for ruining their cartoon!



Even if you never watched the cartoon,
This is still one horrendously bad movie.
I think the fact that I loved the cartoon made it even WORSE.
He tried to cram 20 episodes of awesome,
All into a measly two-hour movie.
It's SO SO BAD,
That I had to go home and watch the cartoon again,
Just to cleanse my mind of the memory of this farce.



All the awesome stuff in the cartoon... WASTED.
Appa, Momo, Bumi, Iroh... all awesome in the cartoon.
All WASTED by Suckmalan's vampiric humour sucking ability.
Even Sokka, the comedy relief in the cartoon,
Is turned into some BLOODY TWILIGHT BROODING FAGGOT
He doesn't even crack a SINGLE JOKE for fucks sake.
Heck I don't think anyone even SMILED the entire movie.



And the fighting?
It's like it was made by an angmoh who opened a fortune cookie,
And saw the words 'KUNGFU' inside it.
Ok the kid can fight,
But goddamn you suck at making fight scenes, Suckmalan.
Heck, I'm not sure you even know how to make a proper movie anymore.



Seriously people,
DON'T BOTHER SPENDING MONEY ON THIS MOVIE.
Take your hard-earned money,
And go buy the DVD for the series.
Yes, ALL THREE AWESOME SEASONS of the cartoon.
At least THAT won't be a bloody waste of your money and time.

Welcome Back, Disney Princess! Ribbit!

Princess And The Frog.
Not a Ribbit.
er.. I mean, Review..
RIBBIT!
Ribbit Ribbit Ribbit,
Ribbit Ribbit Ribbit....
Ribbit Ribbit!!!!!
RIBBIT RIBBIT!



It's the return of the Disney Princess!
The last one was... wah, Aladdin.
Way back in 1992.
No, Pocahontas, Hercules, Mulan all don't count.
Princess Jasmine was still a legit princess.
Am on the fence about the Little Mermaid though...



Anyway, this is also Disney's return to 2D animation.
Now they bought Pixar oledi,
And hired John Lasseter as their chief creative guy,
He's got Disney making 2D hand-drawn cartoons again.
Pixar's gonna do the flashy computer stuff,
While Disney is going back to fairytales stuff.
No more Chicken Little Brother Bear shit.
And all those lame-ass CG Pixar-wannabes.



So how was it?
It was surprisingly good.
The return to 2D animation was very refreshing.
It's like, a whole new world,
Even though it's actually really old school.
And even though the story was pretty predictable,
It had a lot of heart in it.



The characters were not bad too.
The Princess isn't your typical damsel in distress,
The Prince is not as kayu as most other Prince Charmings,
The usual cute comical characters are there,
And the bad guy reminds me of Ja'afar from Aladdin.
(OK, the frog kissing part is a bit far-fetched)
(And a lot of it felt like it had been done before)
(But hey, it's tradition!)



The music, the characters, the humour,
It's a real return to the roots of Disney's cartoons.
Movies like Aladdin, The Little Mermaid,
Beauty And The Beast, Snow White, Cinderella,
All captured your imagination
They made me love Disney cartoons.
And Princess And The Frog is a return to that nostalgic feeling.



If you loved the old Disney movies,
Especially their fairy talesand the Disney Princesses,
Then you'll like this.
Sure, it ain't Pixar,
And it ain't as flashy or glossy as the new CG cartoons,
But it's a return to what made Disney great in the first place.
And has a whole lot of heart in it.

Forget Yo, Joe. I want more Hubba Hubba Baroness!

DISCLAIMER: No I haven't seen the new GI Joe movie yet. I have to tell you this up front because for some reason, there was some strange rumor going around the blogosphere that I'd seen Transformers: ROTF WEEKS before it opened. I didn't. I saw it TWO DAYS before it opened. LOL.

So yeah, I haven't watched the new GI Joe movie yet. But I will. next week. WEEKS before any of you! MUAHAHAHA!

----------------------------------------------------------

I have to say, I'm absolutely DREADING the upcoming G.I. Joe movie. I'm afraid it's gonna be another adolescent, mindless no-brainer with stupid dialogue and lousy jokes just like Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen, but without the awesome cool giant robots to save it.

I mean, seriously - G.I. Joe has ALWAYS been about the bloody US military, and try as they might, updating the team to an anti-terrorist group instead just doesn't seem right somehow.

After all, the beauty (not that there was much beauty in a show glorifying the American military in the first place) of G.I. Joe (and most 80's cartoons for that matter) is that every single character has his or her own purpose, personality and vehicles/weapons/skills and even costumes.



Sure, some of those costumes were downright silly looking, and some of those skills were pathetically boring, but it made the cartoons so much more fun, especially when you're a kid and trying to spot the different characters each time.

The movie, however, eschews the colorfully distinct costumes and uniforms for a uniform BLACK LEATHER outfit, so you can't really differentiate one character from the other. It makes sense for characters like Snake Eyes and Baroness, because THER costumes were black all along. But everyone else as well? DUH.

And what's the fucking deal with giving them 'accelerator suits' (which contributes to a groan-inducing line of dialogue in the trailer --> "What's it accelarate?" "You." GAH you THINK? What WOULD it a man-shaped suit of armour accelarate? your pet chihuahua? DUH.)? It defeats the purpose of recruiting men (and one woman) with specialized skills and then giving them some suit that would just make it harder to tell them apart.

Michael Bay I can handle (maybe because I've actually met the guy and he seems alright if a bit addicted to making stuff explode). But somehow I don't really have much faith in Stephen Sommers. The only film he's made that I actually liked was The Mummy, and that was mostly because the cast made it so fun. Van Helsing sucked despite all the potential it had to be great (werewolves, vampires, Frankenstein, Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale in it, and it STILL sucked). And I don't remember anything else he made after that, to be honest. And I don't care.

Sure, he could do a Michael Bay and make a silly story based on an 80's cartoon look cool enough to be actually entertaining, but judging from the bloody trailer, I'm not holding my breathe. Why is Destro's voice so constipated? Why is the dialogue so lousy? Why is everyone in black? What the fuck is an accelerator suit? And why does that final scene where those suits dodge missiles look so much like the Ironhide scene in the first Transformers?

To tell the truth, perhaps the only thing I'm looking forward to seeing is Rachel Nichols as Scarlett (though her voice sounds whiny in the trailer)...



...and of course, the queen of all 80's cartoon villainesses - The Baroness.



Hey, Sienna Miller + black leather + cleavage + glasses + very big guns = ultimate distraction from silly movie (See Transformers 2. Wouldn't hurt to have giant robots as well).



Hubba Hubba Joe!