AVENGERS! ASSEMBLED AND AWESOME!

The Avengers.
Not a Review.
FINALLY ASSEMBLED!
AND AWESOME!
Joss Whedon is God.
But first, let's here it from the Avengers themselves.

This is Captain America.
I will lead you into this review.
I'm still a bit old fashion,
Maybe a little goody goody
And my costume still looks silly,
But boy do I kick ass.

Hi, billionaire playboy philanthropist here.
I'm still awesome.
And do a whole lot more than the rest hehe,
But I kid, I kid,
No, really, I'm still fucking awesome.
And there's no other way to say that.
AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME.

It is I, Thor!
Thou will do well to listen to me!
For I am the mighty THOR!
Marvel at my Point Break hair!
Be dazzled as call upon lightning,
And argue with my brother!
For verily, I am still emo and angsty,
But Hulk loves me!
Does thou not love me, Hulk?
Hulk?

HULK SMASH!
HULK IS AWESOME!
HULK LIKE NEW BANNER!
HULK DO MORE THAN SMASH!
HULK FUNNY TOO!
LAUGH OR HULK SMASH YOU!
SMASH! GRRWWARR!!!

Agent Romanoff here.
Sorry sir, I'm not here to play nice.
I ain't no token female hero.
I ain't no whiny love interest either.
Think of me that way, and I'll kick your ass.
And still look fabulous at the same time.
(Oh, and you better give me a 10/10 Cleavage Rating)
Or I'll manipulate your ASS off you.

Hawkeye reporting in.
Don't ya make fun of my arrows.
Or I'll put one in your eye.
My arrows may not look like much,
But I sure know how to use them.
Now bring on Bourne.

Fury here.
GET THOSE MOTHERFUCKING ALIENS OFF MY MOTHERFUCKING PLANET!
And get that skinnyass Loki in here.
I'm gonna kick his skinny ass back to Asgard.
Oh wait, I have a team to do that for me now.
Go kick some motherfucking alien and god ass, team.

THAT is how you make a superhero teamup movie.
Whedon gave EVERYONE their turn to shine,
Great action, lots of superhero bustups,
And none of the characters were there to make up the numbers.
(ok, except maybe Robi... er.. Maria Hill.)
But why hor, do all the blockbusters' Earth-shattering devices,
All come in a shape of a CUBE?

Oh well, who cares,
In case you're still wondering,
THIS IS AWESOME.
It's gonna be hard for Batman to top THIS.
(Though I doubt Nolan cares about topping this)

Go watch this in IMAX if you can,
Oh, and stay for a little while after the movie.
There's a little something midway through the credits.
Something Marvel fans will be salivating over,
(and which the general population will be scratching their heads over hehe.
JOSS WHEDON IS GOD.

Assembly Almost Complete

Loook who's baaaackkk.....



Oh dear. But nary you fear! For where there is Loki, there will be...

THOR!!!



THOR!!!



THOORRRRR!!!!!



Ok enough Thor.

Oh wait, here he is again. Who's he fighting here?



Captain America! FUCK YEAH!



He's here to save the motherfucking day yeah!



oooh lookie lookie hubba hubba, Black Widow!



Hmmm, she looks really hot in red, short hair and black leather... hur hur hur.



Here's the boss... Mace Windu in an eye patch!



Shouldn't the bazooka be purple, Mr Fury?




Introducing... Hawkeye!



That bow looks kinda flimsy, dude. At least you know how to use it...



And HEEEERREEEE'SS Bruce Banner!



HULK SMASSSSHH!!!!!



And finally, last, but DEFINITELY not least....

IRON MAN!!!



a.k.a. genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. Heh.



Put em all together, and what do you get?

Oh come on, you know what this is...



AVENGERS!!!



ASSEMBLE!!!!

(in May 2012. Pah)

BTW, click the logo to see the new trailer!

THUNDER! THUNDER! THUNDER GOD! THOOOOOR!!!

Thor.
Not A Review.
FOR ASRGARD!

FOR MIDGARD!

FOR MUDGUARD!

FOR PIE CHART!

FOR SEX TART!

FOR MYKAD!



Ahem.

PHWOAR THOR!

ORIGINAL AVENGER, YO!

He's also a GOD also ok, don't play play!

Got MAGIC HAMMER!

ASGARD! FROST GIANTS!
DESTROYER! HAWKEYE!

Thor is damn awesome.

A bit annoying in the beginning,

Especially when he was all LOOKITME I'M AWESOME!

He was more fun when he got to Midgard.

(That's Earth to you mere mortals)

But foooh he fight damn power.

I can has Mjolnir too?

PHWOAR GOT BLACK SWAN ALSO!

(Waddayamean she ain't a superhero?)

(Got Black Canary, Black Panther, Black Bolt,)

(Why cannot have Black Swan?)

She's hot. But no Cleavage Rating though.

Sorry guys.



Loki also pretty good.

Not as slimy or sneaky as I imagined him to be,

But damn silver tongued fucker, that guy.

And he's gonna be in the Avengers!

Now THAT is interesting...

Masters of Evil, anyone?

I LIKED this movie.

But I thought it was a bit slow at times.

But got a lot of backstory mar.

At least this Hemsworth guy was pretty awesome.

And girls, he takes his shirt off too.

Go nuts.



It was a good movie.

Not GREAT, but good.

But it's a GREAT prelude to The Avengers.

(Have I mentioned Hawkeye was in here as well?)

NOW I can pretty much see how Thor is gonna come in.

And how they are gonna fit all the magic magic stuff in.

Now I can't WAIT for the Avengers to assemble!

Cowboys vs. Aliens vs. Thor

Does anyone else think that the Cowboys & Aliens and Thor posters used the same designers? I mean, look at them!



On the other hand, it gave me the excuse to put the two posters together like they're commencing a duel, and then post it and call it a blog update. MUAHAHA!

By Odin! What have you done, Kenneth?

A while ago, a first picture of the new Thor was released, and this was it:



Not bad not bad. At the time I thought this looked promising.

Then, just a few days back, another new picture was released, and it features Thor's daddy ODIN (played by Anthony Hopkins) and his (half?) brother Loki.

Problem is, the photo really doesn't give me much confidence in the movie...



THAT'S ODIN? What's with the BLING BLING golden eyepatch??!??? And That Power Rangers armour???!!?? What are you trying to do to the MIGHTY THOR, Kenneth Branagh???? Turn him into the Red Power Ranger, and Loki into the Green Power Ranger?

Oh, and there's another picture of Odin here as well, but it still ain't helping to ease my worries.

Speaking of green, Entertainment Weekly's also got the first look at Ryan Reynold's Green Lantern!



Now THAT'S much better... Marvel better start looking over their shoulders, cos DC's gonna give them a run for their superhero money next year!